I don’t know about you but I will speak for myself with saying, “I am a people pleaser”. I want to make sure that everyone I care about, all my friends & family are happy & I am there for them in any way to help, listen, the good times, the not so good times, & anything else you can think of. However, when I’m so busy doing so much for others I can easily run my self into the ground.
Like most of you, I have a very full life, with lots of different responsibilities. I wouldn’t have it any other way either. I mean let’s face it, I created my life & life style. No one else did that for me or could do that for me. Not one single person & I mean no one else can possibly even understand what I go through or feel. I’m speaking of MY, Me (Yours) personal perspective on my (Your) life. I hope you get my point, that I’m not speaking about myself, I’m simply just using myself as an example.
I can’t do everything all the time & Actually I do not want to do everything all the time either. I need to say no sometimes. I really want to do what I need to do for my life that makes me happy, or helps my family, or even makes my life easier. I guess I’m in a different stage in my life. I still love making others happy but not at my expense. Sometimes I just want to relax, hang with my son, have date night, a girls night, or how about some alone time??? lol What is that?!
Ask yourself these questions:
Are you always putting your needs on the back burner?
Are you always over committing yourself?
Are you becoming resentful?
Are you beating yourself up because your not taking care of “Your” things to do?
Are you lacking sleep/rest?
If your saying yes to any of these things it’s about time you learn to create boundaries & say NO!
It’s more than okay to tell someone you will get back to them because you need to check your schedule. It’s more than okay to share you cannot make it somewhere & you don’t have to say why. It’s simple. Thank you for the invite but I’m sorry I cannot make it. We do not ever have to explain ourselves. No one owns us, no one is in titled, no one except the ones you want to share with like a child or a spouse for instance has any right to pry. Sometimes we can’t or do not want to go somewhere due to personal reasons that may be embarrassing, right ladies? It happens once a month! maybe we had food poisoning, maybe we are just tired, maybe we over scheduled, had a change of heart, or something came up that is a once in a life time opportunity.
Our true friends & family will understand. Bosses may not so much so in a professional place explain but do not over extend.
Listen to your inner self. This is your life to do as you want & be happy doing it. No one else will live your life for you or truly understand you. At the end of the day, when our time comes, I hope & wish for each & every one of you that you lived your life making amazing choices for yourself. Choices that make you & your loved ones happy. As we get older, I hope you reflect on your life & are living exactly the way you want to live. If not, I hope you are working towards doing just that! Have intentions, take action, fulfill your life’s dreams.
With the warmest intentions, Samantha Bennington
Light, Love, & Peace