Purpose. Hope. Freedom

“Being Bitter is easy but learning to forgive is not. Everything that I do, I do with purpose.”

-Si-Me-Own-Na

I’m thankful for all I have and how much I have progressed in the last year. I used to be so unhappy and no one ever knew that. I had some really toxic people around  me who didn’t have my best interests at heart. I realized you can’t give your love to just anyone, not even your family, because MOST  people don’t deserve it.

I put up with a lot of things I shouldn’t have, but now I don’t. I can honestly say that I have never been happier.  Some people may look at me and feel sorry that I don’t have a family, but they shouldn’t because those people were never my family. You see, family and friends are about love, giving, commitment, compassion and sticking together. They were never any of those things. My friends were there because of what they could get from me and when I stopped giving, they went away.

This was a HUGE blessing. I am sleeping better than I ever have and smiling bigger than I ever thought possible. I feel free and ready to take on the world without any ungodly distractions. I have no interest in ever speaking to any of those people. I wish them nothing but the absolute best because life isn’t about proving others wrong, it’s about doing what is right. In the end, when I die a very old woman I want to look back and know that I lived my life for me…because I knew I was worth it!

The way I see it is….those people didn’t want my love so I gave my heart to the world. I decided to scream a little louder, tell my story a little more, help the world, be positive and smile because I deserve it!

I have only been in love ONCE and that’s all it took for me to realize that all the other relationships meant nothing. Life is pretty much the same right now, it only took a move, strength and prayer for me to realize that I could never go back.

I tell my story because I don’t ever want anyone to have to go through what I did.  If I could just save one child who is on the verge of suicide and make them throw that bottle of pills away….If I could just make someone smile…or inspire them to pursue their dreams and know their worth…if one child who is being raped or molested can speak up and see the light in the dark tunnel…If that girl who has her head in the toilet can hold her head up high…or save one male cheerleader who won’t take his life…If I could teach one girl to know her worth and have self respect…If I could get that child who never had a bed to know that one day, they will sleep on a bed of roses….If I could show children that they are bigger than their abuse, drugged out parent, abusive father,  or sexual orientation… I would have done my job.

I don’t tell my story to make people feel sorry for me. Don’t ever  feel sorry for me because I WAS that girl who needed saving but now I am the woman who chooses to save.