Romance from 4000+ mi

I’ve heard all of my life that long distance relationships are for not for the faint of heart. Everything from loyalty to patience gets tested in an LDR. Your nights are spent alone, day dreaming of what it’ll be like when the mileage distance counter is zero, and longing moments that feel like homesickness.

Personally, this is a big topic in my life. My parents were in an LDR and I’ve spent nearly three years in my own LDR. So I can say first hand that it is not easy, sometimes painful, and frustrating. But when it comes right down to it, if you’re in an LDR, it does end up being worth it. My Tumblr following is very well aware about my LDR with the Vampire and since begging eyes made me write this, it was time to give forth the information that I’ve learned over the past few years. First a recap:

Three years ago I was nineteen and waiting for my life to get started. I was waiting on paperwork for school to get approved so I could escape community college life that put a strain on my physical disability and get into the school of my dreams. So my life back then was waiting for approvals on funding and filling out my college application. I wasn’t actively looking for a date but I was a member at a niche-dating site just to see what it could to. God decided to be funny with me one night and landed me in an LDR when I was reading through posts on the forum. Best thing to happen to me in my adult life outside of school by the way.

My LDR has been spent with long emails, Skype, and grumbling at tech when one of us gets kicked off of Skype. Three years of pure distance isn’t easy. There were moments when I wanted to take personal time off of school and jump on the next plane headed for London. On the flip side, he’s probably had just as many moments where it took a lot of self-control to not jump on a plane and head over to middle of no-where WA.

I won’t lie, there are moments when you’re fearful and even annoyed but LDR really tests a relationship in a good way. LDR couples find out several things during the span that they’re apart: trust, loyalty, and support. You can probably see the reasons for trust and loyalty but are probably puzzled over support. To summarize: I come from rural America. I spent more time with the elderly than with kids my own age. These were people from the generation that fixed things, from when there was honest encouragement. So I took a note from them and acted on it. Looking back, I think that if I hadn’t given an equal amount of mental and emotional support the outcome of my LDR would be far different. As I said on Tumblr, it may not have gotten past a year. Here’s why I think that.

When you’re being supportive, you are showing how much you care. Sometimes it can mean more than three small words. It shows devotion and dedication. To go further, it shows how invested you are in the relationship. That you’re going to work things out and not run away when things become hard. You learn how to function as a unit and learn what your other needs to be encouraged. Showing support is a form of selflessness. It shows you’re listening to what’s being said and done in addition to showing respect. Respect to not just his or her time, but for their endeavors and aspirations.

So the one thing I can suggest to fellow LDRs out there who weren’t able to travel for Valentines Day is to take a moment to show your girl or beau your dedication. This writer certainly will if one frustrating computer obeys my commands.