Don’t You Ever Back Down

#LookAtGod

I saw @TylerPerry on @Oprah sharing his story of childhood trauma a few years ago. It was such a healing experience and I cried like a baby. I used to imagine that Oprah was my mother. She was the first person to encourage me and educate me about sexual abuse.

Two days after watching the show, I was in my kitchen cleaning and I began to pray harder than I ever had. My phone rings and its my agent, I was on hiatus from acting but my agent insisted that I go on this audition for a movie called Alex Cross. I read the script and I appreciated the story. I completely transformed myself into my character. I changed my looks drastically. This character was nothing like Simmi from my @DisneyChannel show “Behind the Ears.” I worked with the best people on that project. However, I got the part in AC. Everyone on set was amazing. Rob Cohen and Tyler were very supportive.

When it came time for the release of the movie. I was in a flare and I had chemotherapy the next day. This picture is me fluffy from Predisone. My #Lupies know what Predisone does, it puts weight on you. I gained so much weight and I was embarrassed to go. Then I thought to myself, “Look at where God has brought you, hiding is not the answer.”

I walked that red carpet with my head held high and I didn’t do it just for me. I did it for every #Lupie out there, for every girl who has been called “fat”. To encourage every person with an illness to fight for your dreams. You should never feel ashamed or broken because of your diseases or life traumas. I know it’s easier said that done. If you hide, then Lupus wins! If run, then trauma wins. It takes awhile to overcome it, but don’t ever think you can’t. It took a lot of courage and I didn’t look my best, but I was my best. I was sweating due to my medication and I was swollen. It took guts to do what I did and it didnt do it to be “cool”, I did it because God brought me there. During this time I have been getting better, I made a point to not hide my puffy face. I continue to take pictures because I am beautiful, baby! So are you!

There will be things in life which attempt to hinder you. Fight back! Speak Up!