If he doesn’t want to meet yo daddy, he just wanna be yo daddy; he ain’t serious. If he don’t wanna meet yo daddy, he just wanna get you in his caddy; he ain’t serious. If he doesn’t want to meet yo momma, he just wanna make you cum-ma; he playing games. This post isn’t about sex. Its a refresher course given to me by a few of my favorite people. I inquired to some awesome ladies about knowing if a guy is serious about you or playing games with you. Their insight was revealing. I’m going to dive into some of those tell-tell signs and mix in a Jaygmoism or two in the process.

The most common need from my professional team of lovely ladies was time. If he doesn’t give you time, you’re wasting yours. Time can be more valuable than money. You can’t buy extra days. So how a man divides his time shows you his priorities. If he can’t find time to share with you, what are you doing? And if the only time he gives you surrounds sex, you’re playing yourself.

Time, attention and effort are key essentials to a serious courtship. If he goes out of his way to show you he cares, he’s serious. If he makes time, he’s serious. And if he’s initiating the contact he must be into you. Some dudes approach relationships in a lazy manner while putting forth minimal effort. And in today’s world we live in, some relationships are confused with textationships! You know what a texatationship is? Our young people make up this fast food society we live in. They want things so quickly and a textationship is a byproduct of the technological times people date in. Some young people don’t date.  All they do is text. If he’s into you, he’ll pick up the phone. He’ll desire to hear your voice. He’ll look forward to the emotion conveyed over a phone call.

Other dudes have an ego the size of the world wide web. They’re not concerned with making you happy. Its all about them. If he operates on his own terms with no regard to whats important to you, he’s playing games. If a guy really wants to take part in a jazzy relationship, he’ll show up for the small things. He’ll leave you a hand written note if he’s interested. He’ll wait for the chocha if he’s interested. He’ll introduce you to his friends properly if he’s serious. He’ll miss you if he’s interested.  He won’t get ghost during holidays if he’s interested.

If he doesn’t care when you two connect or even if you connect at all, he’s playing games. He’s connecting with someone else elsewhere at all times. If it doesn’t bother him that he hasn’t heard your voice all day, he’s not into you. If he doesn’t ask about the cares and concerns of your heart, he’s not serious. An example would be him asking about her day, her child or children, her goals, wants, needs and desires. If those aren’t normal topics of discussions, then what the hell are y’all talking about?

My best man told me, “Whatever you did to get her, you got to do it to keep her.” For those ladies who have gut feelings, follow them. Things aren’t going to get better. If he’s cheating now, he’ll cheat once married. If he’s hitting you now, he’ll keep putting “dem paws” on you. If you have doubt, there’s a reason. And if you go searching on his phone, the phone isn’t the issue. You know if he’s serious or playing games. In my opinion, thats not even important. The questions is, “What are you doing?” And by that I mean, “What are you allowing to happen?”