When my daughter was diagnosed with cancer I have to say my faith was turned on. I mean it was always THERE however it was like a switch was flipped and like a big loudspeaker shouting, “TEST!” Seriously all my life I struggled with faith and learning about God but this was my journey to a personal relationship with God.
I didn’t know it at the time how cancer was going to COMPLETELY change our family’s life and in a sense, change who I am as a person. I found that I saw the world with different eyes, the selfish lens peeled back. Doors opened and I surely didn’t want to go in. I had to jump in with both legs (not even a tip-toe in to test the water). God wanted me ALL THE WAY in.
There are so many points in life where they become big signs that God wants you to enter and no matter what happens there will be good that will come out of it. Now you know I’m a very positive person and some people may say, “ Whatever! You never walked in my shoes!” and you’re absolutely right. Every single person goes through trials and tribulations that you think no one else is going through…WRONG! Someone in this world is going through the same exact thing or similar and how you handle it is what makes a difference.
Looking back 8 months from when my daughter was diagnosed, my husband had this profound need to search for God and his faith was unbelievable. I never seen or heard him yearn to learn about God so much ever in my life, I actually laughed at him when he told me about it because I didn’t think he was serious. I felt so bad when I realized it was the truth and I knew our life was forever changing at that moment. I was praising God and I was so grateful.
A couple of months later I had my second little girl and our house was blessed with a new addition to our family. Life was good!
About 6 months later, a friend of the family had passed away and my husband gave the eulogy at the funeral. It was a very hard day and my husband said something to me that was one of those poignant details that a voice in my head said, “TEST!” – he said, ”Lillian, this was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do or go through.” I couldn’t believe he said that because this man has seen some stuff in his life but at that moment I felt a change. Later that evening, my daughter sparked a fever at 104 degrees and the symptoms of her cancer began. She was diagnosed with leukemia 4 days later.
I look back and I’m just amazed of the details I remember and knowing how God was putting us to the test. He is constantly placing us at precise moments for precise reasons. Now it’s hard many times to understand why he puts us THERE but it’s for a reason and may not be affecting you directly. It could be that you’re just a puzzle piece in a bigger cause in someone else’s life. This reminds me of Dr. Tony Evans, he has a Joseph: Detours to Destiny series, which describes exactly of what I mean.
We don’t realize all the steps, words, thoughts, and emotions that we feel can be working towards the bigger plan in life. Don’t dismiss those feelings that you have. God may be working something HUGE in your life and you’re not seeing the bigger picture. No matter what you’re going through it’s for a reason and purpose that you can’t yet grasp.
Do I see the big picture of what this 1 trial my family faced and is still facing? Yes, that we’re not alone and that there is good in this world amidst the so very bad. To keep the faith and know that God is always with you no matter what you may be going through. Keep the faith!
Have you gone through something traumatic and so big that you think you’re the only one going through it? Think again! Find the support you need with family, friends, your community, church, internet support groups, etc. There is help and understand you just need to reach out to talk with someone and pray. Prayer is a miraculous source to your personal relationship with God. If things don’t seem to get any better, find prayer warriors (people who want to pray for you and with you). Believe me it works.
I’d love to pray for you and I believe in the power of prayer. Let me know how I can help. Get in contact with me with any of the social buttons below in my profile. I’d love to hear from you!
Lillian De Jesus