This and That, the struggles of Major Life Changes
So in about 2 weeks I will be going from So Cal sunshine, a climate and lifestyle I have known and enjoyed the entirety of my 22 years on this earth, to the east coast NYC game for Graduate school and my next life adventure.
In the wake of immense change and personal challenge of growing up and growing out of my current surroundings, getting retrospective is inevitable.
I have been anxious for this move ever since I committed to NYU and my final summer in my current town has left me wishing the date of the move to come sooner as I am ready for change and ready to start this post grad chapter of my life. Now that it is simply moments away I am coming to realize the things about this environment I will miss and those that I am gladly leaving behind.
There are many struggles to life changes like moving, starting a new job, getting into a new relationship or growing up. The pros and cons list can be endless and leave you with feelings of elated anticipation or terror-filled dread.
While I would suggest the former and hope you take these challenges with an optimistic heart I feel your pain in the struggles of change. We all know them well.
- You feel like you will be missing out on something here while you are gaining something new there.
Of course you will be missing out on things in your hometown with your friends or family, moving forward in their lives as well. We can’t always be there for the big moments physically, but we will still be connected within those relationships to be a part of their lives and their adventure just as they wish to be a part of yours. With technology today and social media you can truly connect with those that you wish to stay connected to. But word to the wise, get rid of that insecurity of being “left out”, this isn’t 8th grade P.E. and you aren’t unwanted or forgotten, just living your own life.
- You start to wonder if you can actually “Make It”
You can! You have gotten this far, whatever the major change is you have come to it for a reason, be it your resilience, hard work, happenstance or desperation, you have come to this road because you were meant to and it wouldn’t have gotten this far without you willing it to be so.
That isn’t to say it won’t be a difficult road and you won’t call home crying at some point scared to death about making rent or feeling lonely but you have made it to this point and all it takes is that little bit of dedication and courage that brought you to that tiny apartment in Harlem to make great things happen from it. You can make it, and you aren’t going to be freaking out and doubting yourself.
- You already start to wonder and question “well what next after this?”
You haven’t even started this adventure just yet, why are you already worried and planning the next?! Trust me I am a planner, I like to know where I am going in life and how exactly I am going to get there, but something I have learned is you can’t always plan your life, you just have to live it.
*Que motivational poster*
But at a certain point when are you going to start enjoying these adventures and moments while they are happening, before they become a memory of that time you did “insert moment here”.
For me the questions from people has been, “do you think you stay in NYC or move back to So cal after you get your masters?” and my answer without fail is “I don’t know” because I truly don’t!
I can’t plan how I am going to feel or where I will be at in my career to make a decision like where I’ll end up geographically before I know where I’ll end up personally and professionally. There are many factors to planning your future and when most of them contain a question mark it is best to leave that planning for a later time.
My mantra as of late, when I feel like I don’t have enough control in my own life or the outcome is “when you make plans God Laughs” because we can plan all we want but who knows where or who you will be when you finish this adventure.
While the “struggle is real” don’t bog yourself down with the worries, the questions or the unforeseeable future that you have no control over (cause let’s be honest, you have no control over it, sorry). Live your adventure and immerse yourself in it, who knows who will come out the other end, but know you will come out of it.
You will have gained experiences and you will have made memories and you will have grown in ways you never thought possible. Let yourself fall and get back up again, push forward like you always have and trust your decision to go for it. It wasn’t a hasty one.
I am hoping to take my own advice with this because it is exciting and scary and intimidating to move across the country and begin another academic, personally and professional journey but this has been my dream for years, I worked hard to make it happen and I refuse to question or spoil it now.
