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Thursday 2 April 2020
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The conclusion: Internet Saga

The conclusion: Internet Saga

I know there’s more out there for me rather than what I’ve been choosing to focus on as of late. I deserve to find what’s truly meant for me. Last night, I dreamed of Venus and something in me just surrendered all the pain and suffering from this situation. I’m blocking my blessings and cutting myself short. I must heal this pain so my heart can be free to love.

For the first time in two years, I feel like I am ready to do that and I’ll do whatever it takes to achieve this. I need to force myself to leave the house and go on dates, which is hard, as I am retired and fighting a debilitating illness. However, I have to see what’s out there for me because though my Instagram is raw, it’s just a gallery. It’s not the full extent of who I am, not by a long shot.

As an intellectual and a woman, I haven’t had an easy time because I don’t get any social media love but then again I don’t post content that purposefully provokes such praising because everything I TRULY do is in silence. I also have an non-interactive observation account but even still, I don’t receive any support and I don’t need it. This is purely an observation. I receive no positive reinforcement.

In fact, racist trolls didn’t believe that I achieved what I have. I didn’t even know that it was a big deal. My wiki and MTV bio laid dormant for years and no one said boo until I received unwanted attention. They don’t believe a woman of colour and youth is capable of such because we lack role models.

We need less praising of what is regressing our society and essentially more emphasis on what will ultimately push us forward.

The future should be the main topic, always. That’s a huge request though, that’s a death threat to what is ‘status’ quo, pun so intended.

In 2019, I want to see all women winning and taking it all, unapologetically. Even those who did me wrong because I take pleasure in others misfortunes. I want to see women pushing the boundaries because it’s far too upside down now.
-What remains to push us forward is ironically leading; how is that possible?

Yes, women can be sexy but being intelligent is sexy too and modesty. Never should girls feel pressured to do anything because the naked girls on their phone are treated like a superhero while intelligent women are berated.

Regardless of where you stand politically, you can not deny the blatant sexism in last election. Trump was videotaped saying awful things, which his wife was not hounded to be accountable for. On the other side, Hillary was blamed for her husband’s indiscretions. The reality is, though women are not seen as equals, even by other women, we are ironically held to a higher standard.

When a guy cheats: YOU didn’t give him attention.

When a woman is beaten: YOU must have done something to provoke him.

When a woman is raped: YOU must have tempted him.

When you’re cheated on in the public eye, regardless, if five people know or 100, its humiliating. It always falls on the woman, never the man. They celebrate the mistress and discard of wife. Yet, the wife has to bear the scarlet letter, even after she’s moved on and proven to a bad ass beautiful fighter. Ask Jennifer Aniston.

If you’re watching me, intelligence will never stop being beautiful. You can also be comfortable in your own skin clothed. The power is in the books, ladies. College isn’t for everyone and that’s OK because power is also in discipline and determination. You are beautiful. Your self-worth is not measured by an app, nothing online is verified. Remember that.

I’m learning just like everyone else. People are naked all the time on IG, I am producing a different type of nudity because though I am introverted, my writing is soul bearing because I want to reach people. Grow with me and spread positivity, we’re on this journey together.

I laugh in the face of tragedy and desperately sob at the genuine arrival of laughter which fiercely pierces my fragile heart.

I’m moving on from this because I would want better for my daughters. I have desperate CBS grandma faced actresses and soft porn IG models going after the guy I shouldn’t have loved, that I had absolutely no business falling in love with…..

And what is a thirsty chick but a snake without a disguised?

They’re showing you exactly who they are; in their demeanor, timing, approach and mirrored personality. All that wouldn’t matter if he wasn’t befriending them.

I deserve respect publicly and he has never given me that because he doesn’t care. He wants to use this drama to promote his ‘show.’ I don’t regret helping him because honestly, I would have done it for ANYBODY because that’s just WHO I AM.

I was assaulted year and I was at the lowest place in my life and I think that’s why I’ve been dancing in the gutter with thieves, madams, ghost, gypsies and sewer rats a-like, oh my¡!!

I have dirt all over me because it’s a reflection of how I felt. I won’t apologize for telling the truth about people who did not treat me well. I know that people are less likely to believe me because I am a woman of colour, to SOME everything I say comes off as aggressive and combative. In reality, everything I write is mostly written in a sarcastic light hearted tone, irreverent to the subject matter.

I don’t feel anything for the people in my rearview mirror, all of my heart and energy is facing forward.

This isn’t all men and there are many phenomenal men. This is a tragedy regarding one.

—NOTE: The only reason I am airing this out on social media is because I have been slandered beyond repair by his people publicly. Nothing has been private because he wants a reaction to promote is cable access show. I’m a very private person, but this has been an exposure of a year.

My final relationship will never be on social media. That’s a promise. I’m not this messy childish girl posting to be immature. I’m posting because what happened to me MATTERS.

It’s not about airing dirty laundry but rather speaking my truth. If you take the time to read my full story Ehttp://certainlyher.com/clearing-seth-macfarlanes-name-and-minetoo/, then you will fully understand.

I have Seth’s phone, I just don’t want to talk to him. I’m sure he couldn’t care less, he never liked, let alone loved me.

He will ride with Trisha, who was blatantly racist, until the very end and in reality they deserve each other. He is adequately suited for the women he dates. She will be delighted to hear that, Hi Trasha.

He is racist, just look at the Cleveland Show and how blacks are portrayed on his show but people don’t care and they love drama so they’ll watch. All he cares about is that show, it was his life long dream but a nightmare for me.

Regardless, Trasha will be at his tacky, classless, desperate atheist Christian tradition party, Christ-mas. Then airbrush her pictures to an unrecognizable state. He will karaoke Sin NOT cha, singing the same thing and sleep with the same company which infected him.

Oblivious to all things outside of his enormous unjustified ego, he will then end out a smug tweet all while lacking the basic self-awareness that he himself is the poster boy/leading contributor of societal regression and anti-intellectualism from a brand based on unoriginal ideas, mediocre content and fart jokes. Followed by a paid girlfriend, ex, or otherwise, to be photographed with in DM because he’s desperate for people to see him as ‘cool.’

He is the family guy in the sense of indecency, crass, unwatchable televised garbage. I wish him the best. Even still, I wish him the very best in life because I do love him very much. He hurt me so badly and made my life miserable. I resent him and he has no remorse, so, I have no choice to forgive. He hurt me really badly. You can clearly tell.

It’s completely a race issue. Fox has many right winged viewers and he doesn’t want to lose his viewership.

He was in lust with me but in love with his show and rightly so. That was his dream, yet he didn’t care if he destroyed mine in the process. What he’s doing now is just deflecting my post because he’s protecting what’s his. This is all about race and if you missed it then you weren’t paying attention.

However, I am sending the wrong message by continuously engaging in self-sabotaging behaviour, so let this be my last. It’s over.

I deserve better and honestly, so do you.


Simenona Martinez is an avid writer and business woman. She is passionate about making the world a better place.