Do Not allow people to verbally, emotionally, & physically abuse you! EVER!
Do Not give your POWER away.
Put a STOP to those who take advantage of you, lie, & manipulate you & your environment.
This could happen to any of us from anyone. It is not okay on any level. It doesn’t make it okay if it’s from a parent, boss, an individual in a higher position, older, stronger, this makes them a BULLY.
It hurts more when it comes from someone we love or have to deal with regularly & feelings of being trapped.
Let’s start off with friends:
If it’s a friend, try to communicate with them. I do believe people can change if they want to evolve. I do believe in forgiveness. If the person shows the same behavior again & again. Then do not be their “punching bag” ask yourself, is this how I want to be treated? is this the kind of friendship I want? If your answer is NO, then it is time to move on from a toxic relationship. Sometimes we must walk away & sometimes we need closure. Closure is healthy but it can stir the pot. So be aware of how far you want to take it. I chose with a friend recently to express my feelings. No yelling but brutal honesty. My hopes are that this person knows the truth on how I feel & maybe this person will reflect on their behavior to want to grow & change. I knew stating this firmly would be the end of our friendship & I also know that letting go of this friendship was the best thing for my family & I. If the person can grow & come correct then maybe there is a possibility in a future friendship but as for now, it’s time I let go. For everyone that surrounds you & for the sake of others, sometimes it’s time to move forward without those people. I cannot be subjected or subject anyone else to the inappropriate & horrific behavior from others that we cannot control. Reminder, we cannot nor would you want to control others.
Another example: Sometimes we just need a break from a friendship to reflect, breath, & re-evaluate our relationship. It does take two to tango. Keep your side of the street clean, take owner ship ONLY for your actions & not others. Be a true & honest friend. Stay open hearted if possible. Time does heal all wounds.
What may not be good in our life, is good for others: Be careful on judgments. With that being said, “This is our life & no one else will live your life but you”. Be happy with the way you want to live your life. Stay on your path & journey. If others are in your life & make you feel bad, angry, or put you down those are key signs to create change. For your higher self & the greater good.
Co-workers & bosses:
In our professional lives this can be more difficult. Some of us need our jobs and find it hard to get a new one. Confronting someone directly may not be the answer in this specific scenerio. Ask yourself, do I really love my Job? Career? If yes, then put forth the effort in communicating in the proper “Company Policy” way & try to figure out a way to make a healthy positive change.
Again, I always try to communicate being direct, clear, & knowledgeable. In business it’s very helpful to conduct yourself with a paper trail. Remain professional but direct to eliminate any/all confusion. If you need to make a change. Remember change is good & healthy. Sometimes & most the time, change is exactly what we need. It’s a journey we are all on. Embrace it!
Relationships & Family:
These personal relationships are the hardest. You know that saying “We hurt the ones we love the most” well It’s true! We take advantage of the ones we love, having the mind set that they will love us through thick & thin. Well I’m here to tell you to LOVE the one’s you LOVE the most. Even if it’s family or a husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend. It is wrong to bully, trying to control others is down right mean & will back fire eventually. No one & I mean NO One should be treated poorly. Verbal & emotional abuse is very damaging. Just as damaging as physical abuse. If you are the abuser, please take a look in the mirror & STOP! If you are being abused say, STOP right this second!!! Just because it’s a relative: Husband, mother, father, aunt, uncle, sibling it is wrong to put someone down & have someone treat you as if you are less than them. No one can change another person. A person changes when they choose to.
I set boundaries with everyone in my life. It has been a very hard lesson for me. I have such an open loving, too trusting heart, & that’s just who I am. I am SLOWLY learning these boundaries but I am learning.
I do not allow people to hurt me over & over again. Sure I forgive, sure you should as well. We are all human & say & do things when we are hurt & upset. We are not just talking about an incident here or there. I’m speaking of the same thing accruing over & over again resulting in abusive behavior. If it’s a spouse, parent, sibling, etc. anything abusive needs to be stopped immediately. You may have to take a break from a loved one until things change or shift to a healthy place. What makes it hard for us to create boundaries with our loved ones is simply because we love them so much we have the ability to forgive them easier than someone else.
Teach others how to treat you. Express what you will accept and what you will not. Love yourself enough & value yourself. Other’s will take note and follow suit. If you do not respect & love yourself, how will others respect & love you? Knowledge is power. Teaching others how to love & treat you & how you want to live your life is more than okay & perfectly healthy!
Be a positive & a great example. Break the chain & turn your relationships into healthy one’s.
You can do this! I believe in you!!!
Light & Love, Samantha Bennington