1. You’re Beautiful Just The Way You Are: You are beautiful! Always remember that just by being yourself, you are already different and amazingly unique. You are in competition with no one but yourself. Everything about you is unique and purposeful because there’s only one you. You are gorgeous from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. You are perfection. It doesn’t matter what has been said or done to you, don’t believe the lies because you are beautiful, absolutely stunning.
2. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others, You are a QUEEN: Life is not a race nor competition. You were made to perfection, which is why it is so essential that you value who YOU are and what YOU have to offer. If you spend your time comparing yourself, you won’t give yourself the opportunity to really love yourself because you’re too focused on the wrong things. The grass is never greener on the other side because everyone has a story to tell or hardships to overcome. Focus on your own life and putting energy into you and you will come to find happiness.
3. Your struggles Don’t Define You: Your past and what you’ve been through do not define you, it’s about this moment and your future that matter. The sky is the limit; forget those who told you that you weren’t capable or good enough. You have the power and must never be defined by other’s opinions or words about you. Never give up on your dreams no matter how many obstacles you have to face along the way. Remember that it is always darkest before the dawn. When we are facing our toughest challenges, that often means that a breakthrough is right around the corner.
4. You Don’t Need Validation: You are loved and you are lovable. You don’t need validation from anyone or anything. One of the hard facts about life is we may never hear the things we want to hear from our parents, friends or people who we look up to. However, we can’t allow that to define us. You have to love yourself above all else, and learn to believe in who you are and what you are capable of. When people don’t appreciate you or treat you poorly, know that you are worth so much more and you are loved.
5. Respect Your Body: Respecting your body is essential for young women. It’s important as women to carry ourselves with respect and to value our bodies. Your body is a masterpiece and you must treat it accordingly. You are worth so much more than fickle validation in any capacity. You don’t need a man to tell you that you are beautiful for it to be true. You don’t need looks or likes to know that your body is beautiful. Self-love can be hard especially if you grew up in tough conditions or have been sexually assaulted. It takes time to develop self-love and self- respect because you have to know your worth. You have to know that you are worth the moon and the stars. Respecting your body isn’t about being ashamed of it. It’s about being empowered by it.
6. Your Feelings Matter: As women we constantly put everyone else’s feelings before our own. For example, with our children, spouses and friends, it’s easy to start minimizing our own feelings and needs. There is an old saying: “You can’t take care of anyone else until you take care of yourself.” It is important that you validate your own feelings, so that you can be strong enough to speak up for yourself. Remember that your feelings matter just as much as everyone else’s. We as women are nurturing, so it is easy for us to forget that.
7. Never Forget Your Worth: Never forget your worth or value. Maybe you were told you were not worth anything, but understand that is a lie. You matter and what you’ve been through matters. You have to remember that who you are is greater than any struggle you could have ever faced. I know it can be hard to break that way of thinking; but you are strong. You can never achieve what you are capable of if you don’t know your value. Your value is in your heart, your spirit, and your soul. You have the power to brighten others’ day, week and even life. That is value.
8. Never Become Hung Up On One Man: It’s human nature to want to see the best in someone, especially if you love that person. However, sometimes we become caught up in the idea that eventually someone will change into what we dream they can be. It is in this time when we put OUR lives on hold for “the hope” that someone will change that we miss out on our blessings. Love isn’t about waiting for someone to see the value in you, if they cannot see your worth, then they don’t deserve you. Believe it or not, that more you extend yourself the less they value you, which is why you must value yourself. There are many great men in the world and you don’t want to be waiting on the sidelines. Actions always speak louder than words. If he says he loves you but doesn’t show it, then move on. Above everything, do not become jaded, don’t let “one bad apple” spoil the whole bunch. You don’t want to waste too much time on the wrong men.
9. You Are More Than Your Possessions: You are more than just your achievements, money, possessions or status. Money and materialism isn’t everything, in fact, it’s nothing. Remember after this life is over we can’t take anything with us. People will remember you for the things you and said and did verses the things you bought. It’s important to not become consumed with the chase of money. Lead with your heart and not with your resume.
“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.” Matthew 6:24
10. Not Everyone is a Hater: Just because someone doesn’t agree with you or your lifestyle doesn’t automatically makes them a hater. We all have to learn how to agree to disagree. Just because someone doesn’t see eye to eye with you doesn’t mean that they are trying to bring you down. More importantly, it doesn’t mean that you are wrong either. Be confident in what you believe, but don’t be combative or confrontational with people who don’t share your opinions. You never know someone’s motives, and even if they are full of hate, don’t let them affect you or bring you down to their level.