Loss. Such a deep blackness that engulfs a person when they lose someone they love. That vast void that now exists in their place. Death they say, is part of living. The final destination, and that’s why it is so very hard to deal with, the blunt finality. Grief is felt as a raw emotion, it can swamp us totally. It is necessary for one to grieve, the process of somehow trying to come to terms with the death, the all encompassing loss. There is no time limit on grieving, everyone is different in dealing with it. The loss cannot be changed, it has happened and we must endure the sadness, emptiness, loneliness it can bring. They also say time is a good healer, and to all extent that maybe true. As time goes by the grieving process goes through varying stages, it is not as simple to say it gets easier, that’s too simplistic. We may say things like they would want us to be happy, or want us to carry on with our lives, or they wouldn’t want us to be sad. This is indeed part of the healing process, and in my own recent experience of losing my mother I have said the same things. It is good to remember the person, memories are natures ointment on the wound of loss. I would like to talk about how certain remedies have helped me along this journey of grief.
Aromatherapy: certain oils have a calming effect on the mind. Frankincense has been used for centuries in receiving the tension of grief. Looking at it from a natural perspective, frankincense is a resin from the bark of a tree, and this resin heals the tree when it becomes damaged in any way. If you think about it this resin can overcome raw emotions within us too, helping to calm and centre and heal us. Thoughts which can overpower us can be quietened. It also regulates the breathing, helping to dampen down anxiety.
Myrrh : is a peaceful thoughtful oil, which evokes a sense of inner stillness and quiet. Helps with feelings go helplessness, where you feel you cannot control a situation.
Bergamot: a fruit based essential oil traditionally thought as an uplifting oil, an energetic oil, which encourages release of negative emotions and allows us to move forwards in a more positive and encouraging manner.
Whilst these are are all very useful in supporting grief related issues, you must remember that grief can be treated on a holistic basis. If you require therapeutic intervention also, such as counselling then it is absolutely imperative that you seek appropriate and timely help.
Since my mothers passing I have used these essential oils in various ways. A few drops onto a tissue, in an aroma burner and also diluted accordingly into a carrier oil such as grapeseed oil for use in the bath.
Self care is important. I cannot stress this deeply enough. It is not selfish, for how can you be there for others if you are not there for yourself? If you have experienced the loss of someone you loved you have my deepest condolences. I hope your long journey to eventual contentment is as natural, nourishing as possible. Using aromatherapy is like have a long-standing trustworthy friend. A shoulder to cry on, a rock to lean on. I like to think it is one of the best therapies out there, scent for the soul, amen to that X