I’ll start off by saying that there is no specific “how-to” guide that can be created for getting over a breakup because everyone is different. Everyone moves on at their own pace, and breakups can vary from minor to extreme. There are, however, certain things you can do to make going through a breakup a lot easier.
The very first thing you can and should do, is delete/throw out every single thing that reminds your of your ex. This can range from blocking them on all social media, deleting photos on all social media and your computer and cellphone, throwing out photos and physical objects that remind you of them, and blocking their phone number. This will allow you to stop any temptations of looking at old memories, which is a good thing, because it will only made you more upset to have these things in front of you. It will also stop you from potentially contacting your ex, which you don’t want to do because it will most likely result in something messy.
The next thing that you can do is create two separate lists: 1. Positive memories of the relationship, and 2. Negative memories of the relationship. Having these two opposing lists in front of you will allow you to see what you have learned from your relationship, and why it didn’t work out. Knowing this information is important because it will help you feel better about moving on. It will show you that even though you had some good times with your ex, it doesn’t mean that you were meant to be with them forever. You can also create other lists, or write up poems, stories, or diary entries in which you can just simply let out all your feelings. Even if you’re not a writer, putting your feelings on paper can make you feel like a big weight has been lifted. It’s a lot better than holding your feelings inside.
Another thing you can do is throw yourself into activities that you enjoy. This is an ongoing step in the moving on process because you should always be looking for things that will distract you. It’s a good idea to either invest yourself in a hobby that you already enjoy, or maybe even find a new hobby to get involved in. It’s also important to spend time with people who make you happy because happiness is crucial at this point and time. If you don’t keep yourself busy, you’ll keep dwelling on the breakup which won’t help you in any way at all. Also keep in mind that the people who care about you are there to listen to you. Feel free to vent to them if you are comfortable sharing your feelings. Sometimes it can make you feel better to simply just talk about what is on your mind, plus you may be able to get some great advice from people.
Another big thing that you should do is find ways that you can improve yourself. This doesn’t even have to be directly related to the failure of your relationship. This can be very personal to you, and it’s something that may take a lot of time. But if you spend a decent amount of time with self-improvement or working towards personal goals, you will ultimately feel amazing overall. Nothing is more important than self-assuring yourself into happiness. This process might take longer than you think it will, but it will be completely worth it in the end. You need to know that you ARE be able to feel happy and strong on your own, it just may take some time to reach that level.
You should also know that there is no set amount of time in which you should be able to move on. Don’t worry if it takes you longer to move on from your ex than it took your friend to move on from her ex. Don’t worry if your ex has already moved on from you while you’re not quite at that point yet. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing, because you’re allowed to move at your own pace. There are no rules that give you a time limit of getting over a breakup. Sometimes it’s better to take small steps and get over it slowly, rather than date a million people until you forget about your ex. Date someone else when you are ready; don’t date someone else because you feel like it will help you move on.
Once you’re ready to date again, don’t go into it with any fears. You’ll never know for sure if you will get hurt again, because no one can predict the future, but you have to know that no matter what happens, everything is a learning experience. You aren’t weak for being sad about a breakup; it just means you have a normal beating heart. Your strength will build up from within you and will be released before you know it. As long as you’re trying to get through it, that’s all that matters at this point.