These last 3 years have been rough for everyone, everyone. There was no finesse in this unique transition. The #metoo movement rocked the nation, showing an ugly side of humanity that we prefer stay in the shadows. Men felt attacked and women felt re-victimized due to their traumatic and painful past encounters. There was a debate regarding what should be classified under the #metoo umbrella. If a man calls a woman pretty, but she’s uncomfortable, does that classify as an “attack”? In my opinion, no, especially if he is not persistent. Many of us feel uncomfortable in situations due to social anxiety and many other personal factors but if the other person is attempting to gauge your interests and they misread without aggression then a simple, “I’m uncomfortable” can go a long way. You have to say it with confidence and strength then simply walk away. Men, on the other hand, need to understand the difference between playing hard to get and who just doesn’t want to be caught.
As a sexual assault victim myself, I am not going to get into the deeper circumstances, because those require a more in-depth analysis which I will provide in an upcoming piece. What I do want to discuss is womankind. During the #metoo scandal I saw a side of women I never want to see again. When a celebrity or public figure was accused, their fans would harass the accusers. That to me is the lowest point of feminism. At a time when women could have joined in unity, we turned against one another for men. We were willing to destroy each other’s lives because we like a band or a movie that the accused was involved in. However, those bands and those movies aren’t real life but entertainment; sexual assault is real life, and it is horrific. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors, even if you think you know a person’s character, you seldom know their deepest emotions and darkest secrets. Thus, only two people really know what happened: the victim and the suspect. So why are we so quick to discredit the victim? There is such a lack of empathy for the victims. What does that say about society? You can only come forward based on a person’s popularity or lack thereof? How easily both women and men forget that it could have been themselves or their daughters, wives, sisters, brothers, sons, or mothers.
Personally, I had been working independently with the Jane Doe Project in rescuing sex trafficking victims. Children were being sold online for prostitution, and I was working to combat those horrible crimes. Two years ago, I happened to make an incredible connection with Seth MacFarlane, and we remain friends today. However, when we began talking, his exes and fans began trolling me before anything ever happened between us. My basic interaction with him caused his fans to follow me. Then, they began writing sexually aggressive and racially charged ads directed towards me. I didn’t know what to think, as I was being harassed and molested online. I couldn’t understand why anyone would be doing such an unstable and toxic thing. I honestly didn’t know what to think since I never experienced anything like this in the past.
Because of these complications, I became frustrated and said some things for which I have since apologized for. His fans continued to harass me on over 5 accounts with 500 tweets of psychobabble, nonsensical ramblings about the public aftermath without any knowledge with what goes on behind closed doors. A group of grown women share those toxic accounts questioning my illness and my character. Self-appointed, “Seth’s angels” because they want to protect him. However, they fail to see the only threat is them. Their toxicity is ruining his brand. Their constant obsession and delusion-based convictions towards me that are projections of themselves. The bizarre accusations and delusions which only exist due to their self-hatred and poisonous jealousy. I realize that they are mentally ill. They react to everything I say, they have my account on notification. Their sole purpose is to deny everything I say. If I say I am having a good day, they will say otherwise. The state of mental health in this country has to be of the utmost priority. They were constantly bating confrontation with me. It became too much because I was dealing with drama from a man who I am not even dating. I took to Twitter to seek refuge. People often ask why victims do that on such a public forum, I suppose it’s a sense of safety. If more people know, then you’re protected, right? But the consequence is the backlash. The bottom line is that if you are on the outside of a situation, you should not get involved either way since no one knows what goes on in the confines of a relationship or behind closed doors.
For me personally, I love to see other woman doing well because they are paving the way for others. Why tear her down when she’s doing so much to secure your future. I am extremely successful and have done phenomenally well in male dominated fields. I never slept with anyone for any work nor took off my clothing because everything I earned was by skill and merit. It’s unfortunate that people are so unhappy that they dedicate their lives to such toxicity. Toxicity, which never reaches me because I am too busy working. Some people don’t realize there is life outside the internet. Just because you see me come on for a couple of hours and mass posts to get it out the way, doesn’t mean I am not multitasking. I’m doing just fine and that’s my business. Its frightening they are under the delusion they have control over a friendship or relationship in which they are not involved.
At the end of the day, Seth and I have put this entire situation behind us, and have decided to remain friends. Seth MacFarlane’s name is cleared from this situation. It was cleared a long time ago but toxic people won’t let it go. This was an unfortunate circumstance, but lessons can always be learned if we choose to extract light out of darkness. With each challenge that we overcome, we become stronger and wiser. I have forgiven everyone involved in the situation, and I only desire to move forward in a positive direction. My passion has always been helping others and I always seek to give back by helping others who go endure similar difficulties. Now, can we please stop talking about this matter?