6 Types of Friends You Don’t Need
Having an illness is very hard, but not impossible. Even if at times it feels as such, I always believe in the silver lining. It is hard enough dealing with an incurable disease, but what could make it worse is not having the right people around you.
Here are six friends you don’t need when you’re sick.
The “You Look So Tired” Friend
I was a part of a women’s group where I had met a much older woman who I became friends with. Every time I would see her, she would tell me “You look so tired, you look so tired!” She was aware that I had lupus and chronic fatigue, yet that never stopped her from saying how tired I always looked and questioning that in complete ignorant disbelief.
You don’t need this type of friend in your life because you know that you’re tired when you’re sick. You know you have less energy when you’re sick. The last thing you need in order to get better and to heal is someone constantly reminding you of that.
The “Where have you been?” Friend.
I have been sick, I have been sick. lol. Though they might mean well, asking someone where have they been when they have an incurable disease is nauseating.
The “Must be nice to be home all day” Friend
No, actually it isn’t nice to be sick all of the time. If you wouldn’t say “it must be nice to be seated all day” to a person in a wheelchair, then don’t say it to a person who has an invisible illness.
The “You don’t look sick” Friend
After someone has been fighting for their life with an invisible illness the last thing they want to hear is “you look fine” because they’re not.
The “I’m so Sick” Friend
Yes, everyone is entitled to moan about being sick. But if you have a friend who is always comparing a stuffy nose or a mild headache to your chronic condition, then that can be very disheartening because it shows that they do not understand your pain.
The “Let’s Go Workout” Friend
It is good to have people encourage you to be healthy, but if someone is constantly asking you to work out or engage in activities that are beyond your range of motion, that becomes annoying. It becomes a constant reminder of your disabilities and can be a real downer.
You have to be certain that you surround yourself with people who have your best interests at heart. Everyone says they’re going to be there when you are first diagnosed, but it takes real character for those who choose to stay. It is important that we appreciate those who have shown us loyalty. Not every person is a person of integrity and character. There are a lot of people who just talk and say things because they think it sounds good.
It is true sometimes people don’t know the right things to say and because of that they say all the wrong things. The best thing you could do for someone with an invisible illness be it lupus or depression, or any other diseases… educate yourself. If you want to help, learn everything you can and understand the person, be patient and be a friend.
