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Monday 26 October 2020
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5 Tips for a Less Painful Divorce

5 Tips for a Less Painful Divorce

When your vows expire and you no longer want to stay with your spouse, your world might shatter. No matter if you’ve been planning your divorce for quite some time or if it came suddenly, it will definitely affect you and your family in many ways. Certainly, dealing with divorce is hard, but it can be made a little less painful when you have good advice to follow. Here are some tips that will help you cope with pain and make this stressful period of your life a little easier. 

Think with your head, not with your heart

No matter how initiated the divorce and served the papers, you will have some raw feelings to deal with. However, for the time being, make sure to put these emotions aside and deal with other things like custody, property and housing issues. These issues are very important and they can’t be clouded my emotions. Of course, you have every right to grieve your marriage, but leave that for later if you can. Dealing with the procedural aspects of divorce requires your full attention. 

Focus on the technical things

Anger can be a very strong emotion during the divorce period, especially if it’s happening because of the fault of one spouse (infidelity, lying or something similar). It is a powerful emotion that can completely take over your brain, so try to keep the anger out of your divorce by focusing on technical things. This will help you in two ways. Firstly, it will ensure you handle everything from custody to possession ownership. Secondly, it will occupy your mind and let you be objective until you finalize your divorce. Procedures like divorce never benefit from ineffective anger, but they benefit from focused energy that will help you complete your separation smoothly and successfully. 

Get a good lawyer

Sure, divorce is a complicated process emotionally and physically, but it’s also a serious legal issue. On your wedding day, you signed a binding contract that you’re about to terminate during your divorce. Since it’s such a serious business, you will need the help of a professional, so make sure to hire a reliable attorney. Developed countries like Australia have excellent family lawyers who can help you navigate the stress and technicalities of divorce. If you hire a firm that does family law in Sydney, expect to face a legal team that will guide you through the process and help you understand how to navigate agreements, costs and court process (if it can’t be avoided). Experienced lawyers will ensure your rights are protected and the law is upheld. 

Keep kids out of it

Kids always come first, no matter how bad your breakup was and their interests shouldn’t be neglected at any time. While it’s you and your spouse who’s separating, your kids will feel the impact of your decision as well, maybe even more than you and your ex. So, when planning your divorce strategy, make sure to discuss everything away from kids and keep it civil and friendly when the little ones are around. If you need and want to argue and fight, make sure to save it for the court and lawyer’s office—never do it in front of children. 

Recognize your emotions

While going through it all, and especially after everything is done, you will feel sadness, anger, anxiety, fear, exhaustion, relief and many other emotions. This is all normal and valid, and you have every right to feel how you feel. Take time to recognize your emotions, accept that they exist in your life during the divorce period and allow yourself to feel them when you can afford it. However, tell yourself that your feelings will diminish in time and you will come to terms with what happened. While you must keep your head clear during divorce, you also need to recognize what you feel and accept it—it will make things easier to deal with later. 

While getting a divorce is not fun in any way, it’s not the end of the world. Look at it this way: It’s a way to break up with the past and welcome new and better opportunities to your life. Hopefully, the aforementioned tips will help you make the situation easier to handle and allow you to recover faster once it’s all over.